before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
