we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize