I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
ttyl tear gas
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize