i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
