never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
