Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
