You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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