ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
