hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize