Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
