We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
