Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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