that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
