I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
