Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
