And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
