We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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