i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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