My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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