Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
