Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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