Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
