Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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