whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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