life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
