yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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