oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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