Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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