He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
