i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
