Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
