This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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