you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
