Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
