i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
