my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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