Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
