Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
