you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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