I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
