She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
