some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize