I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
