What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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