i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
