I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Can Purell be used as lube?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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