OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!