Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.