but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)