what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.