At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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