I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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