He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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