If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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