You work out of a Hotel?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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