why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
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An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
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She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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