If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
