I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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