just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
