i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
