you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
