remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
