You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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