so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
