watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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