stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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